Obviously there are thousands of articles out there with successful and helpful tips to assist in building confidence. Quite a bit worked for me to be honest! But along the way, through my experiences, I have come to realise that adding your own twerks to these tips are really a character builder.
STOP THINKING “What are they thinking about me?’
My life was one controlled by what I assumed others thought of me. This not only affected my relationships, but my family life, friendships, and professional life!
When eating in public, I used to wonder, ‘Am I chewing too loud? Am I opening my mouth too much? Should I take a sip of water now or will my movement draw attention?’ Ahh! That was the problem, I was afraid of attention. (We will get into this in the next point. )
My advise to you is, be free. Obviously, there are certain etiquettes for the different level of social dining, but let go of those thoughts. Move elegantly, not gauche…oh god please do not be too free! Stop worrying. Relax. Live in a bubble.
2. Get comfortable with ATTENTION.
Attention was always something I feared when I was growing up. I do not know why. Despite having the typical dream of performing on stage as a singer and dancer (LMAO! I can do neither BTW) influenced by Disney stars, I feared attention so bad.
In fact, here is a funny story. When I first entered high/secondary school at age 13, I decided to go on stage IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL and lip sang Hannah Montana’s song, ‘Life’s what you make it’. Worst decision ever! Pa-ha-ha! I was not only laughed and booed off the stage, your girl was traumatised so bad…she hung her head in shame for most of the 6 succeeding years. That was not the end though. I went up for the school’s pageant show during that same year and…LOL do not worry, I saw worst students in the other years after.
So it definitely took sometime for me to get adjust to accepting the attention of others.
From wondering what others were NEGATIVELY thinking about my outfits and constantly comparing myself to others whose were more expensive or had better makeup, to POSITIVE thoughts about being strong, was a mega change. Something I did not expect!
Here are some thoughts to help:
- This dress is so unique.
- My clothes do not matter, I am intelligent and brave.
- I can do the unthinkable.
- I am here to dominate.
- This is my moment.
Clearly, you have to balance the materialistic influence with your psychological influence.
3. PUSH yourself for opportunities.
Nothing grows in the comfort zone. How can you learn to adapt if you have no challenges? Challenges are what builds a character, and a confident one too!
I learnt this during the later years of my life. Specifically, 4 years ago. I had the mind-set to be a leader but never exposed myself to the experiences which would have built that individual and establish my ‘position’. I wanted to be a model, I thought looks was enough to make it but sadly, I was rejected numerous times.
I started volunteering at the temple (I was a practising Hindu) and saw opportunities in the youth group, to apply my theoretical knowledge. Well, that was the best decision ever! I felt like my character was beaten and hung up for crows… lol #dramaqueen. This was the first time in my life I faced so many opposition but eventually, I came out hard core. So my advise for you is to volunteer. You have to start with selfless actions.
Last August, 2017, I decided to join a model training program. This was the biggest step out of my comfort zone physically! I learned how to walk with grace and style, how to keep my head high in times of difficulty and how to think on my feet!
Years ago, I was so self-conscious about my skinny body, I used to go to the beach wearing a track pants and large tee-shirt. Guess which skinny bit*h went on a stage in front of hundreds of people and modeled in a BIKINI! THIS ONE! *points to myself*
The world became my catwalk after that night ❤
I will post the pictures from that in another blog.
So my final point is, break barriers you have set up for yourself. Go beyond the safety line and push hard to dominate! Greatness is your destiny and being confident is the greatest part about being a WOMAN.
Hope this helped. Give me feedback and ask any questions!